THE POETRY OF MY LIFE

Ode to Amy

I am a little Staffy and Amy is my name.
I like to go for walkies, but I really hate the rain!
I sleep between my humans all snug and warm as toast
But riding in the Gator is what I like the most.
When it comes to dinner time I’m there to lend a paw
and clean up any meat scraps that fall upon the floor.
I’m terrified of thunderstorms - they really make me quake
I run and hide behind the lounge. Dad says “For heaven’s sake!”
I strut around my boundaries and love to bark at strangers
My duty is to keep my humans safe from any dangers
I love to chase the foxes - and the kangaroos
I can never catch them, but it keeps me well amused
My day is very busy so I need to have a sleep
Upon my comfy trampoline lined with the fur of sheep
But life is not all fun and games - oh no, it’s far from that!
Mum put me on a diet and she told me I was fat.
I miss my treats of licorice and Tiny Teddies too
She won’t give in to pleading, no matter what I do
I sulk upon my daybed and dream of this and that
I’m so very, very hungry, I could almost eat a cat!
………only joking - too many calories! 

FIRST POST

Hi Everyone,

This is my first post (as the title implies). 

Out of boredom, I have decided to start a blog, so I warn you this may not be riveting reading.

Had a relatively quiet morning - a nap on the trampoline bed, patrolled the house perimeter, and that's about it. Oh yeah, and checked the food bowl in the vain hope of some small morsel, but to no avail. 

I am on a starvation diet ATM (at least, that's what it feels like), so the titbits are few and far between these days. OK so I've lost my tuck-up. Is that a crime? I'm approaching middle age, there's gotta be some kind of concession to advancing years. Have my humans had a look at THEMSELVES in the mirror lately??!!! Wouldn't hurt THEM to chase a rabbit or two. 

Anyway, I have mostly given up the sullen looks. It doesn't work on G, (my human Mum), but occasionally M (human Dad) gets a fit of the guilts and sneaks me something when she's not looking. Probably why I haven't lost all that much weight so far.........

Most peeved. M drove into town this morning and didn't get back till well after my lunch time (OK, it was only about 30 mins). I don't need a watch. My stomach tells me what time it is, and I like my meals ON TIME. Especially since he's cut me down to 3 lousy chicken necks a day. Before the starvation diet started, I used to get 6 :-( yeah, I know, there's always the DRY BISCUITS if I get DESPERATE (which I often am these days)........ 

PM

I have just returned from a fruitless search for the elusive fox. There's more than one, but to me they're all the same, so I won't differentiate.  Don't know why I bother to run up that great big hill after it, only to find it smirking on a rock below when I get to the top. I'm quite .....puffed out now......need a drink.......

Oh, oh...I just heard a rumble. I DO NOT like thunder storms. M & G get quite frustrated with me when I try to hide behind the lounge, or under the bed pillows. Consequently, I am relegated to the "bat cave" which is just a big wire crate with a blanket over it, but I must admit, I do calm down once I am safely in there. 

Don't like gun shots either. G says I am very sensible because I make a beeline for the back door whenever I hear a gun go off. If the neighbours are shooting at the kangaroos again, I don't wanna be anywhere near a stray bullet, thanks very much! M just rolls his eyes and says "Aaaamyyy" in that pained fashion, as if I'm some kind of wimp. I don't care! I'm not a cat. I do not have nine lives!